The Grieving Process: What to Expect and How to Handle it

Grief is an incredibly personal experience that can take many forms. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, a pet, or even a job, the grieving process is a journey that we all must go through at some point in our lives. While everyone's experience is unique, there are some common stages of grief that most people go through. Understanding these stages can help you to navigate your own grief or support a loved one who is grieving.

What are the stages of grief?

Grief can manifest in many ways, but researchers have found these common stages: 

• Denial: When we first receive news of a loss, it's common to feel disbelief and numbness. It can be difficult to accept that the person or thing we've lost is really gone. We may feel like we're living in a dream, or like we're watching everything unfold from a distance. Denial is a natural coping mechanism that allows us to gradually come to terms with our loss.

• Anger: As we begin to accept the reality of our loss, we may feel a range of emotions, including anger. We may be angry at ourselves, at the person or thing we've lost, or even at the world in general. It's important to remember that anger is a natural part of the grieving process, and it's okay to feel angry. However, it's also important to find healthy ways to express and process your anger, such as through exercise or talking to a trusted friend or therapist.

• Bargaining: In this stage, we may find ourselves trying to make deals with a higher power or with ourselves in an attempt to reverse our loss. We may think “if only I had done this differently” or “if only I had been there for them more”. It's important to recognize that bargaining is a normal part of the grieving process, but ultimately, it's not helpful. It's important to try to focus on accepting the reality of our loss and finding healthy ways to cope.

• Depression: This is often the most difficult stage of grief, as we may feel overwhelming sadness and a sense of hopelessness. We may withdraw from friends and family, and have difficulty finding joy in the things we used to enjoy. It's important to remember that depression is a natural part of the grieving process, and it's okay to seek help if you're struggling. Talking to a therapist or counsellor can be incredibly helpful during this stage.

• Acceptance: At this stage, we begin to come to terms with our loss and find ways to move forward. This doesn't mean that we forget about our loss or that we stop feeling sad, but it does mean that we start to find ways to incorporate our loss into our lives. We may find meaning in our loss and use it to inspire us to live more fully.

While these stages of grief can be helpful in understanding the grieving process, it's important to remember that everyone's experience is unique. Some people may move through the stages more quickly or slowly than others, and some people may not experience all the stages at all. There's no “right” way to grieve, and it's important to allow yourself the time and space to grieve in your own way.

What can you do to cope with grief and move through these stages in a healthy and productive way? 

Here are a few suggestions:

Allow yourself to feel your feelings. It's important to give yourself permission to experience the full range of emotions that come with grief. Whether you're feeling angry, sad, or numb, don't try to suppress or ignore your feelings. Instead, try to express them in a healthy way, such as through journaling, talking with a trusted friend or therapist, or engaging in creative activities like art or music.

Take care of yourself physically. Grief can take a toll on our bodies as well as our minds. It's important to eat well, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. You may also want to consider relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation to help manage stress and anxiety.

Seek support from others. Grief can be an isolating experience, but it's important to remember that you don't have to go through it alone. Reach out to friends and family members who can offer support and understanding. You may also want to consider joining a grief support group or talking with a therapist who specialises in grief and loss.

If you're grieving, there are some things you can do to help yourself through the process. First and foremost, it's important to take care of yourself. This means getting enough sleep, eating well, and getting regular exercise. It's also important to reach out to friends and family for support, and to seek professional help if you need it.

If you or your loved one wants to seek professional help to work through your grief, we encourage you to consult a therapist or a psychiatrist.